Saturday, July 29, 2006
Saturday29july2006
today morning woke up. not long after started doing my homework. my brain was not adjusted, so had much difficulty doing my work. whatever, doing homework is not interesting.
went out late today. was almost late for my guitar performance practice. without touching my guitar for a week, i felt weird holding onto my guitar. urgh. more than half of the song "Canon" was played unsatisfactorily. aiyo. what to do.. the day of performance is nearing. well i am afraid that the whole ensemble, because of me, might not make it to the performance ; we might be kicked out on the 2nd rehearsal which is on september. the following day of my rehearsal is my prelims. i dont know how am i going to cope.. my grades are falling even my strongest subject - mathematics. whatever. so during the practice for Canon, my friend, dixun, played it very well. she does that for all the practices. the 2 other violinists (YiFu and Jack-if i remember their names correctly) were great too. they made absolutely no mistakes during the first rehearsal! wow! or maybe i was too dumb in music wise to listen if they had made any mistakes.
after the practice, i had my guitar lesson. so i was at Cristofori for 2hours-an hour for practice, another for lesson. for guitar lesson, i had to play Canon again. for performance, it is Canon in D. for guitar lesson, it is Canon in C major, no sharp no flat. haha. it can be quite confusing. haha. well, i did not play well for Canon in C, so i have to keep practising. hai.
got home, ate, watch tv, did homework. saturday is so routine for me that i loathe saturdays. my timetable is so packed. hai. will such days ever end?
i did not focus on God fot the whole day today. but i will keep trying with God's help. Good night.
penguitarstrum at Saturday, July 29, 2006 16:41:43 | [what] (0)
Thursday, July 27, 2006
so touched. feel so bad
was doing my chem notes. i do things always do so slow de. actually yingying going offline soon then i ask her if she can help me print chem notes. at that time i was still doing. then she had to wait til jus few minutes then send to her. and is joyce help me rush it out de. i feel useless. hai. always give pple trouble. must really thank joyce and ying, otherwise this chem notes would be a disaster.
i am really touched and grateful to ying. because of me, she got scolded, had to stay up late, waste her printer ink ...
ying, if you are reading this entry, i just want give yoou one big hug and a shout out
"Thank you!!!"
penguitarstrum at Thursday, July 27, 2006 17:23:32 | [what] (0)
Thursday, July 27, 2006
was very tired in school..wanna sleep..yet i cant get myself to fall asleep....
todae isnt a day for me. ss workshop got stressed up over some things...almost burst into tears...
got home. after finishing my homework, i typed the chem notes...then i only sign in msn, got scolded. finally burst into tears..was holding back my tears for the whole day. a friend of mine told me that at this rate i am going, i may sink into depression... i really studied hard, yet my parents keep saying i did not do my best. i still remember my father told me to go mental hospital. my mother said that i did not put my heart and mind into studies. why do they keep saying me? am i that bad? Father... sometimes i can feel so stress that i can forget to eat and keep on studying.. i can even study til i dont want to sleep. almost every night i had to force myself to go to sleep. almost every night i have nightmares about my studies.
i have changed. i have become less happy. i used to be so cheerful. now my giggles are so fake. when i am not alone, i can win the best actress award. when i am alone, i am drowned in my tears. will this ever end? i cant control myself....
Father, pls help me, i pray. Father, i pray that You will bless me and help through this difficult time...
penguitarstrum at Thursday, July 27, 2006 13:03:02 | [what] (0)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
heys pple!
todae morning super paiseh leh! i got out from my dad's car. then my dad kept honking the car. i thought was the car in front dun wan budge, thats why. but actually is i forgot to bring my water bottle along.. -.-" somemore i kept staring at my dad's car. lol. (='.'=)
ss lesson have sbq test. wa.. luckily i can recognise what type of qns are they.. hahha. thats an improvement for me! -.-" spent too much time in part (a).. then left part b,c and d with only 20minutes to finish up! but anyway, managed to finish the test only after mdm jayanthi gave another 5 more min. hahha.
assembly, duno what the performers dancing. lol. and they asked some students to go up and dance. super funny! hahha!
after assembly, joyce n i chiong to canteen. wow. so empty. hahha. great. so we dun have to queue up very long hehe. saw sandra..can see that she is rather unhappy. joyce and i guessed that she was feeling stress at that time. hope she will be fine, God bless her!
after finishing the food, joyce and i went back to class to do chem notes. classroom was rather an inconducive place to study at that point of time. luckily not long after, the classroom is so peaceful. we finished at 6pm and left school.
at bus stop, met a lady, Sharon, about 40 year old asking me about a bus. she said she was going to church. so i asked her if she is a christian. and yes, she is! well, we had a nice chat. hope we meet again:)
penguitarstrum at Tuesday, July 25, 2006 16:05:44 | [what] (0)
Monday, July 24, 2006
yes i can!
hi peepx! ;)
todae in school thought of alot things..was very distracted. when i was bathing at home, i realised i had wasted a schoolday.. the lessons gone through.. i wasnt paying attention during lesson.. arg.. regret. oh well, i cant turn the time back. so let there be no regrets! i shall continue my life but in a better way.
read someone's blog..was rather motivating..i guess God planned it..when i was reading, i felt a sudden joy but it is not because of that someone, it is because of God.. i see how God works in that someone's life. was awwwe.. He is the awesome!
i can see that that someone has changed as he/she grows in Christ. Great! *claps* and i see the power of prayer. i believe God planned it! Hallelujah!
after reading all his/her blog entries, i realised i had done something so foolish for the past 1-2mths! Gosh! Father, please forgive me.. i had too much thoughts about some stuffs and diverts all my attention away from God! how foolish can i get! now i am determined, with GOD's help, of course!
i wanna F.O.G. (focus on God), study, friends, family, and many other things.. i've neglected too many great things! and most importantly, the joy, laughter and smiles pEng had and should have. i wanna change for the better. i wanna change for Him. i wanna devote myself to Him. i hope i can do it with His help. there's just too much distractions. i wanna find back the me who had just received Christ and was growing in Christ and finds so much joy, always excited about spreading the gospel.
Father, i pray that You will mould me into what You want me to be and i pray that You will guide me, lead me, and help me through this difficult time. Father i just want to lift everything to You Lord. in Jesus name i pray, AMEN!
(just like the song i wrote for You, when You filled me with Your love. that song is physically written by me, but spiritually written by Lord for You give me the wisdom. Thank You FATHER)
penguitarstrum at Monday, July 24, 2006 10:37:20 | [what] (0)
